For teenagers, the world is their social peers; they live and die on popularity. As adults, we never quite escape this – you never really leave high school emotionally. When agonizing over the angst of high school, I wish I had gotten this advice, as it still applies:
- You’re not responsible for what other people believe.
- Most people don’t notice what’s going on in your life – they’re busy with theirs.
- If you don’t learn to deal with rejection, you are doomed to live an unhappy life.
- In 10 years, you will have long ago lost track of most of the people you know now.
- The people who are left after 10 years love you for who you are. You don’t need to seek their approval – you obviously already have it.
So feel free! Do what you love and ignore other people’s disapproval. By the way, I came up with this list myself. It’s all part of the growing cycle.
1 response so far ↓
1 Hal // Jul 29, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Yes, its good advice. And a good “beer and pretzel” conversation. I have been telling these things to my kids, as well as Bill Gates’ 11 Rules of Life, since they were about 14. They are now 20, 22, and 24. The two younger ones still don’t get it and the oldest one is just now beginning to understand, but likely won’t completely until he is much closer to our age. Its likely they don’t get it when they are young because of their ability (or inability) to reason during the teen years. Or the paradox that its really rejection , as you say, (of which failure is a form) that drives people, not acceptance. Or that most children are not allowed to really experience rejection in all its facets, and learn to grow from it in today’s “everyone’s special and needs to be protected” society. Or maybe acceptance being easier than rejection they simply follow the path of least resistance. Or maybe its because they are bipolar and couldn’t get it if they tried. Regardless, understand it or not, they will eventually get to the point that they no longer have the energy to put into thinking or worrying about such things and they will be as you are now. Great thoughts, though.
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