Things Not to Say on a First Date

Can you pay for this??? ‘Cuz i aint got no money…..
You look like my Ex…
I’m celibate
You wanna come and break into my ex’s house with me?
My last boyfriend…
That drink’s not cloudy, come on finish it up and I’ll get you another.
All my girlfriends are fucking whores, I hate them.
When do you ovulate?
Do you play World of Warcraft or Dungeons and Dragons?
Where do you see us in 5 years?
Who was that? Just my parole officer.
My oldest daughter is almost your age.
I Love You
This is my mom.
I’ll be right back, my wife is calling.
Sooo….are you wearing any panties?
You’re my 1st date since I got out of the institution.
You’re my 1st date since I got out of prison.
I can’t wait for you to have my kids.
I googled you.
You have no idea how long I’ve been following you on twitter.
My kids need a dad like you in their lives.
I’m undecided on a lot of things…mainly gender.
I’m on work release..can we hurry this up?
So that’s a no to letting your sister join in?
You look hot. Not as hot as my mom, though.
Basically he cheated so my cutting off his penis is justified. Well, not so much cheated as he hugged a girl I don’t know.
I need a green card.
I’m working on my screenplay.
Don’t mind my boyfriend behind that bush; he likes to role play.

Tags: Every day life · Quotes

Kristy's Blog