Kristy's Blog

—- Original Message —-
From: Donna
Subject: FW: FW: Appeal for help!

Let me know if you know anyone who would like a cat.

—- Original Message —-
From: Kristy Welsh
Subject: FW: FW: Appeal for help!

Benny has vetoed this.

—- Original Message —-
From: Spunjawa
Subject: Re: FW: Appeal for help!
Date: Monday, September 22, 2008, 11:06 AM

I suspected this might happen so I have organized a Filibuster against Benny. Jerry Mandering is going to be there. We are confident that Benny will not receive enough backing for cloture. We have the Majority Whip on our side. Ex Officio will not help Benny this time. Benny needs to realize that even though you can put lipstick on a cat, it’s still a cat 😛

—- Original Message —-
From: Dutch
Sent: Monday, September 22, 2008 12:43:18 PM
Subject: Re: FW: Appeal for help!

Here Here!
I second the motion set forth by the Honorable Spunjawa!
BANISHMENT for Benny and more lipstick for CATS!

Dutch

—- Original Message —-
From: Spunjawa
Sent: Monday, September 22, 2008 12:51:21 PM
Subject: Re: FW: Appeal for help!
All,

I can only hope the readers of this letter are as outraged as I am at Benny. It is requisite, even in this summary sketch, to go back a few years to see how if I were to compile a list of Benny’s forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that I must ask that Benny’s stooges treat the disease, not the symptoms.

I know they’ll never do that so here’s an alternate proposal: They should, at the very least, back off and quit trying to corrupt our youth. And, more important, we are at war. Don’t think we’re not just because you’re not stepping over dead cats in the streets. We’re at war with Benny’s benighted crotchets. We’re at war with his quixotic dissertations. And we’re at war with his manipulative, feline jokes.

As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that when Benny’s bestial utterances are translated into plain, words-mean-things English, he appears to be saying that might makes right. For me, this judgmental moonshine serves only to emphasize how with Benny so forcefully turning knuckle-draggers loose against us good citizens, things are starting to come to a head. That’s why we must make him pay for his crimes against the feline species.

To wrap up, I’ll just hit the key elements of this letter one last time.

First, we must stick to our guns and not let Benny and his goons convince us that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la.

Second, the ripples of reaction to his tirades have spread, giving rise to universal calls to make a cause célèbre out of exposing his platitudes for what they really are.

Finally, a doggie with a functioning brain does not display an irreconcilable hatred toward all kitties.
Bill