Kristy's Blog

From: Dinner In the Darkroom

A Facebook app I actually like! (Click on graphic to see full size.)

see more Epic Fails

Read the explanation below….

“Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.”

Too Funny. And now he has his own show

If you’re forced to eat at one….

Can you think of a name for this puppet?

• Can you pay for this??? ‘Cuz i aint got no money…..
• You look like my Ex…
• I’m celibate
• You wanna come and break into my ex’s house with me?
• My last boyfriend…
• That drink’s not cloudy, come on finish it up and I’ll get you another.
• All my girlfriends are fucking whores, I hate them.
• When do you ovulate?
• Do you play World of Warcraft or Dungeons and Dragons?
• Where do you see us in 5 years?
• Who was that? Just my parole officer.
• My oldest daughter is almost your age.
• I Love You
• This is my mom.
• I’ll be right back, my wife is calling.
• Sooo….are you wearing any panties?
• You’re my 1st date since I got out of the institution.
• You’re my 1st date since I got out of prison.
• I can’t wait for you to have my kids.
• I googled you.
• You have no idea how long I’ve been following you on twitter.
• My kids need a dad like you in their lives.
• I’m undecided on a lot of things…mainly gender.
• I’m on work release..can we hurry this up?
• So that’s a no to letting your sister join in?
• You look hot. Not as hot as my mom, though.
• Basically he cheated so my cutting off his penis is justified. Well, not so much cheated as he hugged a girl I don’t know.
• I need a green card.
• I’m working on my screenplay.
• Don’t mind my boyfriend behind that bush; he likes to role play.

I’m sorry, but kids do not require cell phones. Classrooms at all schools have phones in each room, so messages can be taken and relayed to kids in emergencies.

How about forcing kids to take responsibility for being where they say they will be and being on time. I think it’s ridiculous that any kid under the age of 13 has a cell phone. (Actually I think it’s ridiculous for any kid under the age of 15, but no doubt I will get rocks thrown at me for saying that.)

I didn’t have a cell phone and my mom knew where I was, or if I was out riding my bike with friends I was to be home at a certain time. I was required to tell her which friend’s house I was at and my mom could call if she needed to reach me (which honestly, was never – I knew when dinner was, that I needed to do my homework before playing, etc.)

My mom was not shy about taking away my allowance, TV watching privileges, or grounding me if I didn’t follow the rules.

I think it’s incredibly amazing how cell phones have changed society. Look at any street corner, and half the people are on their phone or using their phone to text. They don’t even talk to their friends at dinner.

I’m not technology adverse at all – I’ve had the same cell phone number since 1989 – I had one of the first cell phones you installed in your car, and just kept it all these years. I had one of the first small handsets became available, first Palm Pilot, first iPod, though I have to say, I’ll never own a DVD blu-ray, I’m going all-internet TV shortly and disconnecting my cable.

I can’t believe the number of times people scold me for not answering my cell phone, or not carrying it around (yes I can LIVE THROUGH THAT). I don’t have to be wired 24 hrs/day, fer Chrissakes. I almost never answer my cell phone – I don’t like being interrupted. What’s happened to private time?? I prefer texting and emailing. You can answer back at your time.

Rant, rant, rant. Thanks for listening.

I can’t believe this is what passes for journalism on what is supposedly a mainstream news source:

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2009/10/09/tommy-seno-obama-nobel-prize-win/

“Skipping church” is apparently a heinous sin.