Today I went to Hyberabad, the capital and the most populous city of the South Indian state of Andhra Pradesh. It was quite the experience. I flew from Chennai over there (hey, India is a REALLY big place) on Jet Airways, which I would recommend.
Flying domestically doesn’t really pose any security risks, apparently, at least as far as liquids. I packed a full 1 liter bottle of water in my bag, and no questions were asked going through security. Other than that, I was one of the few women on the plane and definitely the only single women, a fact which gather disapproving looks from the flight attendants, all men.
I made arrangements with a local tour group to be picked up and shown the city – I had specific things I wanted to see. I was lucky enough to meet a guy named Sameer when me and Christina went to Mysore last Wednesday and Thursday, and he generously called a friend who set things up.
First problem: usually, when someone is being picked up by a tour operator or a being met at the airport by a driver, they have a sign with the name of the person they are meeting. Lashmi had no sign. Of course, I was easily the only blond woman in the whole terminal and she finally found me. She has apparently called Stephen (who is running the volunteer program here in Chennai) and asked him where I was and he said of course, on my way over to her. She asked if I had a cell phone and he said no.
I glossed over this part in the tour guide, but it did say that Hyberabad is a Muslim city. It’s not just the numerous fully veiled women running around that tips you off, but that almost every street in the city has streamers running over traffic bearing the Muslim sign of the crescent moon and star. Like lots of them.
Immediately the feel of the city is different from Chennai. Chennai is Hindu and almost every street corner has a temple, some of them humongous. In Hyberabad, every street corner has a mosque, some of them dating back to the 15th century. In addition, the humidity is low, even if the temperature is still hot. It’s a dry heat, sound familiar?
Next problem with my guide: her English was horrible. Hey, I don’t expect anyone in a foreign country to speak English, but when you’re hired as a guide for the day for an English-speaking tourist, it kind of goes without saying that it should be passable. Most of the time, I couldn’t understand what she was saying and she didn’t understand me. Well, at least I remembered to bring my tour book.
The first place we went was called the 4 towers, or Charminar. My tour guide told me it was built in 1951. I asked several times and she told me each time that yes, this was when it was built. Wrong! Try 1591. In any case, the towers were very impressive. My guide thought it might be a good idea for my to buy bangles (you know, shiny bracelets). She seemed highly displeased when I declined.
She was also displeased when I told her I wasn’t interested in eating lunch, despite the fact that “most people come to Hyberabad for its Chicken briayni (an Indian dish). I told her I’d that dish a few times already in my two week stay here. I told her I wanted to see the Golconda fort and the tombs of the Kings and Queens. Of course, when she took me to a museum and I told her I wanted to spend time at the fort instead, this didn’t go over well either. The fort and tombs is pretty far from the city, and I literally only had about 6-7 hours to sightsee and I didn’t want to waste it at a museum I’d never heard of (and didn’t have art).
The whole time in the taxi – the driver, who was violently Muslim, argued with Lashmi both of them in loud voices. When not arguing with the driver, Lashmi was talking to her friends about me on her cell phone, because I heard the word “American” several times and the dismissive clucking sound she made, similar to the ones she used to ignore beggars on the street.
I tried prompting her to tell me about the city, but she had nothing to say. When asked about an old building that we passed by, she simply said “that is an old building”, if you can believe it.
We passed by a statue on a street corner and when I asked about it, she said it was Neru, the first prime minister of India after its independence, and a close a associate of Mahatma Gandhi, largely credited with gaining Independence of India from Britain. My admiring tone prompted the cab driver to say (as translated by Lashmi) that I was “green if I liked Gandhi”. Great, now both Lashmi and the cab driver hated me.
On to the fort. Very impressive, from one side to another, it’s 7 km. A whole city has been built inside the parts of the fort that wasn’t the residence of the king and queen. The queen had 5 swimming pools, and an ingenious way to pump water up over 300 feet. The walls reminded me of a medieval Castle. Several people asked to be professional guides, but Lashmi waved them away, telling them that she could tell me everything. Yeah, ok. I purchased a guide book, which was helpful and amusing, written by someone who was blatantly anti-Muslim. At one point the book talked about how That Cult infested the city.
It was a hot day and my ever-chipper guide told me that “most people come at night when it is cooler and they can enjoy it more”. At this point, it’s pretty much FOAD (Fuck Off And Die) in my mind to my companion.
To get to the top of the tower there are 360 steps. “Ma’am, it’s so hot” Lashmi told me I had lots of time, and I could take my time to climb the stairs. I’m not in that bad of shape but she was huffing and puffing, so her concern was a little self serving. And dammit, it was pretty hot, and I just wanted to get the stairs over with so I could get out of the sun. Plus, it was fun to race up the stairs and leave her butt behind.
At the top of the fort, while I was admiring the view of the city below, she continued to talk to her friends on her cell phone. At one point, she handed me the phone and said that one of her friends “wanted to try out his English”. OK. So I tried to talk to him, but the best I got was a “hello – how are you – I am fine”. I think that’s what most people know over here as far as English. The professionalism was amazing.
After the fort came the Qutub Shahi Tombs. Now, these aren’t just any tombs. Every single sultan has this full-size mosque (could easily hold a couple of hundred people) for his tomb. Now that’s what I call a cemetery. A few of these tombs were over 1000 years old, holding the various sultans who had ruled the city Golconda, along with all their wives and children were buried there as well.
For about the 50th time, I was reminded that it was “very hot” outside, but I dragged Lashmi from one tomb to another. At one point she actually said “all these tombs are alike inside, we don’t have to go into every one”. She also suggested climbing one of them to take a picture of the whole grounds instead of visiting each one. At this point I was completely ignoring her or suggesting that if she didn’t want to walk with me, she could wait and I would come back. She wouldn’t do that.
A last desperate try to get any tour info our of my guide was when I asked about the smaller tombs in the park – I was told they were lesser people, not sultans. Great, I didn’t know that.
Also, while we were walking around “in the very hot sun”, she propositioned me for an upcoming tour that her company was booking. There would be “people of only your age, ma’am”. Funny.
They hurried to get me back to the airport, way too early, by the way, where I think all company was eager to part ways. I think she expected a tip – but not a chance.
Was I annoyed, yes, but – it makes a great, funny story. The hot dry weather, and no mosquitos was a welcome break from the hot humid weather in Chennai. The views and monuments were spectacular, and also were a nice break away from temples. I actually had a great time, and only wished I had a cell phone to text my exploits with friends as they happened. It was hard not to laugh at times.
